Remembering with Gratitude
Sermon | November 1, 2020 | Rev. Julie Lombard
Let me live on in your eyes and not only in your minds. As you say a prayer for me, remember that Love does not die as people do. When all that’s left of me is love, give me away. These are the words that remain in our hearts after we have lost someone we hold dear. Nobody here can say they have been left untouched by loss. Pain fills the void after love is gone, we feel empty. If we are uncertain of this life lesson, we are forced to face it again and again.
Today’s remembering with gratitude is done to fill our spirits, not to crush them. It’s a spiritual practice to remember. Yes, I know that spiritual practices was the worship theme for October and November’s theme is gratitude, but let us linger in this luminal space as we feast on remembering with a dash of gratitude to favor our worship.
Margaret Bendroth argues in her book The Spiritual Practice of Remembering that remembering must become a regular spiritual practice, part of the rhythm of our daily lives as we recognize our world to be, in many ways, a gift from others who have gone before.1https://www.eerdmans.com/Products/6897/the-spiritual-practice-of-remembering.aspx, 10/22/2020
Grant Wacker of Duke Divinity School says, “As a faith leader and historian, Bendroth makes a powerful case that the past is never totally past but remains a rich resource for the practice of our faith. The point is less the mastery of this or that ‘dry’ detail than to see that our spiritual parents often faced questions similar to ours yet gave answers different from ours — answers more practical, more creative, and more faithful. It pays to pay attention.”2https://www.eerdmans.com/Products/6897/the-spiritual-practice-of-remembering.aspx, 10/22/2020
Nancy Taylor of Old South Church in Boston says, “Bendroth argues that meaningful remembering requires imagination and determination but is well worth the effort, for it cannot but form us into better and finer human beings.”3https://www.eerdmans.com/Products/6897/the-spiritual-practice-of-remembering.aspx, 10/22/2020
Of course there are a book and experts who agree that remembering is a vital spiritual practice. But who is it that we want to hear from in this tender time? When our hearts ache with grief- whose voice do we most want to hear? We don’t give a damn what the experts think, all we can do is feel the brokenness of having to live without the one we love.
That is why I asked Jane to read When All That’s Left Is Love by Rabbi Allen Maller. The poem is written from the perspective of the individual that has died.
Imagine recently lost ones saying to us, “When all that’s left of me is love, give me away.” We can and do because of the ways they lived their lives. They say this to us, now, as a reminder that no storm can shake our inmost calm whilst we cling to whatever rock even when we feel as though we maybe barely holding on. Let us recall that they are the love that flows out from us- they represent the love we give away so freely. We love in memory of them.
We might think we know something about death since we think about it throughout our lives. Death has been too close for comfort throughout this pandemic. None the less, allow me to read you a poem written by Becky Ardiff:
When I lay down to die there’s something you can bet, I don’t want to be a bitter woman who’s full of regret. The more I look the clearer I see, a happy heart is all that I want for me. Joy doesn’t come from luck coming one’s way, it comes from the attitude you take towards each day. Why worry and stress and take time to complain, when I can shrug off the bad and skip through the rain? The key to more happiness is found in the heart, I don’t have all the answers but here’s where I’ll start. I’ll let my family and friends know that I care, I’ll treasure the conversation and experiences we share. If love chooses to leave, I won’t regret a single day for not everything in life was meant to stay. I’ll cherish the memory of being loved for real, I won’t shy away from love- a broken heart can heal. I have two good eyes so it’s time that I see, all the beauties of nature that stand before me. The sun through a window that can put me in a trance, the beauty of bodies that know how to dance. The smile of a loved one or the face of a friend, the grace of a tree as it waltzes in the wind, the magical glow of a candle’s bright flame, the look of a child enthralled with a game. And, if I want more joy it’s time I suppose, to inhale a rich taste of life through my appreciative nose. Stop to smell the coffee as it warms up my day, let the scent of the ocean sweep me away. The aroma of candle as it fills up a room, the intoxicating smell of a flower in bloom. Take it easy on myself and remember to giggle. Crank up the tunes and let my hips start to wiggle.
Let me share more about Becky’s story- although I have never met her, I learned about how she came home to Danvers, MA to fight cancer with the help of a stellar medical team and surrounded by her loving family and friends. She stayed positive ‘til the end. The cancer finally took her body and yet her spirit continues to shine brightly and she is an ongoing inspiration. Becky left behind many gifts, but nothing more special than her parting message.
It started with the preface statement: ‘a few months ago this would have seemed very weird’. She’s talking about the strangeness of sharing her parting thoughts for even when we know it is coming, its arrival seems strange. She planned to raise her daughter to adulthood and beat cancer, but sometimes our plans do not go as hoped.
What I find most intriguing is how close her poem resembled the way her loved one recall how she lived her life. It’s clear, she had no regrets. Sure, Becky wanted more time with the people she loved, she also wanted them all to know that everything she received was enough and that she experienced more love than she thought possible. She felt blessed by her family, friends, and the homecoming.
Becky left this world feeling secure that her loved ones would be alright because she knew that they are still looking after each other. It is in such a community of care that we come to realize that love and friendship is what is most important. Caring for one another is the sacred task we must all partake in. Nobody is left out of this circle of love.
Becky’s death made this reality more abundantly obvious- love and friendship is why we are here and she believed it is what life is all about. Her final message was full of gratitude to all those who had brought beauty and happiness into her life. Thank you, Becky, for sharing your lasting message with us- total strangers, but now we are not.
We are still listening and remembering such wisdom. Even those who have never met Becky can give thanks to this day. By doing so, we clasp the hands of those who went before us and the hand of those who come after us. We all enter the circle of each other’s arms as part of a great circle of lovers whose hands are joined in a dance to music so subtle and vast that no ear hears it except in fragments.
Now it’s time to stop, let us not lament over what is no longer. May we move onward with a smile for all that we’ve got. Let us be grateful for this sacred time together with the ones we love. Let the power of love strengthen us for the uncertainty of the days ahead with the election and the pandemic. May our hearts continue to be the keeper of all souls. Let today’s remembrance fill our spirits. When all that is left is love, give it freely away.
Blessed be. Amen.
References
| ↑1, ↑2, ↑3 | https://www.eerdmans.com/Products/6897/the-spiritual-practice-of-remembering.aspx, 10/22/2020 |
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