Tihar Teachings
Sermon | November 15, 2020 | Rev. Julie Lombard
Today you have been called to grace – giving thanks for all that is our life. We turn our attention to a Hindu tradition of the Nepali variety as we observe Tihar – a five day celebration of lights, the most celebrated holiday after Dasara which was at the end of October. This autumn celebration ends in a special kind of sibling appreciation day.
One of the many stories behind Tihar is about Yama, the god of death, and his sister Yamuna. Yama had been staying away from his sister for a long time and she wanted a visit. So, she sent animals to ask him to visit her. In the end, she went herself to see her brother. Nepali people do everything possible to keep Yama happy during Tihar since they believe he will judge our vices and virtues after our death, and treats our souls accordingly.
As the story goes, Yamuna sent animals to tell her brother that she’d like a visit. On the first day, they honor Crow as it symbolizes the Messenger. Each day that follows has a new animal to honor. The second day is to honors Dog for their loyalty towards human beings, the third day they worships Cow as they are sacred and the National Animal of Nepal. They also worship the Goddess of wealth, Laxmi. On the fourth day they honors Ox since they are also sacred animals. And on the last day, the fifth day, Brothers and Sisters exchange gifts and money offering Tikas on each other’s forehead.
You can learn all this from a number of websites or books willing to explain this holiday, but that was not how I first learned about it. In 2009, while working with a social action group at my UU church, my family began a journey that would take us deep into learning about a new culture. We were helping to resettle Bhutanese refugees. We were tasked to help the Rai family. The parents were just about my age with four children which were all born in the refugee camp in Nepal.
When they arrived, their oldest child was 15, their youngest 4. English was a developing language for them to put it mildly. They arrived in June, when NH was just beginning to feel its summer. There would be many changes in those first six months. The children started school, parents struggled to find jobs, seasons changed, and leaves changed colors and fell as the holidays came upon us.
The beauty of this time was that we became partners in helping one another stretch our spirits and grow. The first Nepali holidays came in autumn and they taught us about their traditions. We learned how they rejoice in getting new clothes for Dasara, and still that the children liked Tihar more.
I was curious, why did the children like Tihar more? My mind raced to make whatever connection or parallels I could. Perhaps this was like children here liking Christmas more than Thanksgiving. How could a turkey compete with gifts?
I bring this up because the fragments of our holidays seemed just as strange to them as theirs did to us. We were not really looking as this as a lived comparative religion class we were in, but it was just that. We were sharing cultures and weaving something larger and more enduring.
To unpack why the children liked Tihar more helped me to understand the depth of what that the family had endured. It took this family four tries to have a son which made Tihar more special for the three older sisters. They finally had a brother to celebrate with and for the eldest child, Binita- she had waited 11 years before she could participate in this part of the ritual- the blessing on the final day of Tihar- the blessing exchanged between the siblings. Families like hers had been looked upon as less fortunate because they had not been blessed with sons as well as daughters. They were forced to observe this part of the tradition from a far and they wanted in on the practice of giving thanks between the siblings.
That first Tihar with the Rai’s offered a series of lessons- they invited my children to watch and then try to partake in the ritual. Depesh, their son, sat on a thrown of blankets as his sisters offered him a bowl with flowers, fruits, and herbs. The brother gave his sisters money and they placed Tikas on their foreheads.
To be honest, I do not remember any focus on light or burning of candles or lamps, but it was dark out as we reenacted this rite of passage. What I do remember was the dancing that followed. It was joyful. They had arrived, in a distant country, celebrating in new ways these old traditions. Things had changed for them, yet they got up and danced.
Maybe they danced to celebrate their emergence into this place as an act of liberation, perhaps they were not accidental pilgrims but Tihar Teachers. We all found ourselves on a journey of surprise and wonder.
We were testing our thoughts, ideals, and values. We came together with heavy, rusty, broken open, & full of love hearts to share with one another. They longed for the family they left behind yet they lifted up with joy for their newest family members- us. Together, we were seekers finding courage and finding that we had more courage than we realized. We were poised for transformation and their dancing affirmed our arrival.
Tihar is not their Thanksgiving, but there are certainly elements of gratitude embedded in it. This festival of lights is more like a Thanksgiving, Solstice, Chanukah, Christmas, and New Years rolled into one. It was also a pet blessing of sorts recognizing all those creatures we hold dear.
What we can take away from their tradition is to celebrate the many gifts we have- bless the animals in your life and your family whether they are far or near. Connect with them, offer them blessings by phone or zoom or however you adapt to this new world we are living in. And when you are done, let your soul dance.
I leave you now with a video of some Tihar dancers. I offer you thanks for coming together today to experience the Tihar teachings and may they liberate your spirit as our holiday season begins.
May it be so. Amen.