Cultivating Gratitude
Sermon | November 27, 2022 | Lisa Jebsen
The Thanksgiving holiday has passed so it might seem that this sermon is late. Au contraire! In fact, I believe that while it may be easy to “give thanks” on the national holiday, this spirit is something that we all can – and should – keep throughout the year.
If you’ve been listening to my sermons over these last few months, you know that I love a good preamble. Today is no different.
Prior to working on this sermon, I used the words “grateful” and “thankful” interchangeably. No more. During my deep dive on today’s topic, I came across a great distinction on happierhuman.com…
“… there are multiple layers and definitions for gratitude, making it a more complex concept than being thankful. Feeling gratitude can be expressed in many ways and at multiple levels of complexity, spanning from a shorter change in effect (similar to being thankful) to long-term changes in personal temperament. Being grateful isn’t just about performing one action, it’s also an emotion that serves a positive biological purpose. Gratitude embodies a general state of thankfulness.
So with that bit of semantics taken care of – along with the reminder that all of the references I use in my sermons are included with the text posted on our website, I’d like to make the case for cultivating gratitude. Beyond just being a nice thing to do, there are real, measurable benefits to nurturing this in ourselves. Here are a few…
#1 Gratitude Produces Greater Happiness – in other words, gratitude can set us up for a virtuous circle – which is a new favorite phrase of mine! I’ve used “vicious circle” many times over the years – but I love turning that phrase on its head. Anyway, One study showed that when subjects completed a simple daily exercise of finding three things to be grateful for, depression levels decreased after only 4 weeks!
#2 Gratitude Improves Emotional Well-being – another virtuous circle! We can better deal with adversity during hard times and deepen our positive experiences with this type of gratitude focus. (By the way – if you’re playing along I’ve already said the word gratitude 15 times!)
#3 Gratitude Helps Physical Health – numerous studies have produced a veritable laundry list of health benefits from clear skin to improving blood pressure to improved brain health!
#4 Gratitude Increases Sleep Quality & Quantity in another study it’s been shown gratitude can soothe the nervous system, leading to better sleep. Grateful people sleep better!
#5 Gratitude Supports Social Well-being & Relationships – expressing gratitude with friends and family can deepen our connections and help us make new ones.
#6 Gratitude Improves Productivity – because it’s been linked to higher levels of motivation, allowing people to achieve more in less time.
Now that you’ve heard some of the many benefits of gratitude – how can we cultivate it? Of course, there are as many answers to that question as there are individuals. However, I found a great article with a list of 10 ideas that might work for you. I edited a few of these and completely cut another. In a similar spirit, I encourage you to treat these like a buffet and “fill your plate” as you see fit.
Keep a Gratitude Journal.
The simple act of writing things down helps make them more “real” – plus when you establish this type of practice, you have a handy reference to look back on for those tough days. If a daily practice sounds daunting, you can always start with a once a week habit and build from there. For those who shy away from any type of writing – remember you don’t have to compose beautiful essays. You’re the only one who will see this journal – you can write short phrases or make a simple list. You can buy a fancy journal and fill blank pages with a glitter pen, type a note on your phone or create a document on your laptop. There’s no right way! The important thing is finding the people, places, things and moments and recording them.
Remember the Bad.
It will come as a shock to no one that we all go through hard times. As I stand here encouraging you to find ways to zero in on things you’re thankful for – it’s also important to acknowledge and examine the not so great stuff in our lives. While the Johnny Mercer song may tell you to, “Accentuate the positive – eliminate the negative.” Before you do – take a look at the negative. Reflection rather than dwelling on the bad can set the stage for gratefulness.
Ask Yourself Three Questions.
For those days when we may struggle a bit – here are some questions to kickstart the gratitude. What made me happy today? What inspired me today? What gave me peace or solace today?
If you’d like to make an advanced gratitude move, ask these questions of yourself… How have I made others happy today? How have I inspired others today? How have I offered peace or solace today? While we cultivate our own gratitude why not be the someone that someone else is grateful for?! This is one of those ways to tap into the giving aspect of gratitude that Bernie Siegel highlighted in the reading today.
Share Your Gratitude with Others.
As the title implies – don’t keep it to yourself! Who doesn’t like to hear kind words from others? Let your loved ones know you’re grateful – this will have the added benefit of strengthening and deepening those relationships.
Come to Your Senses.
As we move through our gratitude practice, we can find a wealth of things to be thankful for when we focus on our five senses. How long will our list be when we start focusing on gratitude for seeing a gorgeous sunset, feeling a soft blanket, tasting our favorite flavor of ice cream, hearing a delightful melody on a flute and the smell of crisp autumn air? Careful though – you might run out of pages in your gratitude journal!
Use Visual Reminders.
This is right from the article on mindful.com where I found this list because they said it best…
Because the two primary obstacles to gratefulness are forgetfulness and a lack of mindful awareness, visual reminders can serve as cues to trigger thoughts of gratitude. Oftentimes, the best visual reminders are other people.
Make a Promise to Practice Gratitude.
Studies have shown that making a vow or oath to alter behavior increases the likelihood of follow through. So even if you’re not going to use idea number one and write a journal, go ahead and write out a “gratitude promise.” It can be as simple as “I promise to think about at least 3 things I’m thankful for each day.” As with any type of goal setting, making it specific helps to keep you on track by giving you something specific to focus on. As will posting your vow somewhere where you will see it and be reminded of it every day – another visual reminder to add to your gratitude arsenal.
Go Through the Motions.
This phrase sounds like I’m telling you to put things on autopilot. However, in this case it’s the opposite. The kinds of motions this refers to are simple “grateful motions like smiling, saying thank you, and writing letters of gratitude. By “going through grateful motions,” you’ll trigger the emotion of gratitude more often.”
Think Outside the Box.
There are an infinite number of ways to express gratitude and an infinite number of things to be grateful for. Employing a bit of creativity can help us “find the new.” When you make these discoveries – I’d love to hear all about it!
Bonus
It’s like the old-school instructions on a shampoo bottle: lather, rinse, repeat. We all get better with things when we do them regularly. This is yet another great example of a virtuous circle.
I’d like to finish with a final thought on gratitude from novelist William Faulkner, “Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: It must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.”
So I hope that you will leave here today inspired to “produce, discharge and use up” copious amounts of gratitude.
Amen. Blessed be. Namaste.
SOURCES
How to Practice Gratitude – Mindful
The Power of Gratitude: 3 Questions, 30 Days
7 Scientifically Proven Health Benefits Of Gratitude | Wellable
Grateful vs Thankful: What is the Difference? – Happier Human