Searching for Answers; Changing Communities; Saving Lives
Sermon | August 16, 2020 | Roddy Biggs
Believe it or not Suicide affects us all. I personally don’t know anyone who has not been affected by Suicide in some way or another. It’s that common and impactful in society. To help us understand how a single Suicide can affect so many people I want you all to do something with me this morning, with your eyes open or closed, I want you to imagine a large pond.
With that image of the pond in your mind I want you to also imagine that you have large smooth pebbles in your hand and that you are skipping them in along the surface of the pond, and watching as they each create ripples in the water before sinking to the bottom. If you choose to close your eyes you can open them now.
Suicide is much like these pebble skipping in a pond, for when it comes to suicide the waves or the effects of suicide ripple outward. What I mean by this it that when someone dies by suicide, the people impacted most dramatically and immediately are those closest to the person who died; for example immediate family members, closest-friends, co-workers, and classmates those who see the person daily. However these people only represent only the first wave, or the initial level of impact that a suicide creates.
When we look deeper we see that people who were members of the individual’s community, such as members of a faith community, or those who might not have known the person personally are also affected. Affected to are the mental health service providers, the Drs, the First Responds, etc who might have been seeing them before the time of death or those who provided care right after the sudden loss of life.
These larger groups of people may feel the impact of the suicide in ways that feels similar to those closest to the person who has died but will be feeling them at a different ways time and in different ways. These groups now represents the second, third, fourth, fifth, and so on ripples in the pond. All have been affect by one loss of life. Ultimately, in the way that a pond is changed because of a pebble skipping across its surface , so is entire community affected and changed by a single suicide.
Before moving on this morning, let’s all take a moment to collect our thoughts, to breath, and to bring our minds and bodies more fully present into this gathered community, into this sacred space and brave space where we can talk about hard and challenging and sometimes unpleasant things. And know that after today’s service you can reach out to Rev. Lombard for pastoral care at any time. Now let us take a moment and center ourselves as we prepare to bear witness to the topic of suicide:
Returning from our silence… We come to the hard part, actually talking in depth about Suicide its self:
And to do so we must be clear on two definition: A Suicide vs suicide attempt
So first By definition Suicide is when people direct violence at themselves with the intent to end their lives, and they die because of their actions.
As a side note: It’s best to avoid the use of terms like “committing suicide” or a “successful suicide” when referring to a death by suicide as these terms often carry negative connotations. (We will talk about these connotations more soon)
AND By definition A suicide attempt is when people harm themselves with the intent to end their lives, but they do not die because of their actions.
I want to be clear here, I am not a mental health expert; I in no way claim that I am, and I have struggled with and to this day struggle with my own mental health. I also want it to be clear that I have no concrete answers on this topic and that I know how hard this topic can be to talk about. So at any time if you need leave this virtual space please do and know that no judgments shall be made if you do leave.
I ask that you each take care of you first and foremost. After all Self-care is a part of what we are talking about today. I also wish to acknowledge that I know that churches have historically hurt people when it comes that of suicide and to say I am sorry if you have been hurt by the church because of this topic.
In addition, I want to say that I know there is an underlying conceptions that we never speak of Suicide at all and that we are stay silent about it, These those conceptions are so wrong for we can speak of suicide and we must speak of suicide if we wish to attempt to understand it, if we wish to help those who suffer with thoughts of suicide and, if we wish to heal communities impacted by suicide.
For myself and millions of others who suffer from mental health the most challenging and painful thing that we have to deal with is not mental health challenges themselves but the stigmas associated with mental health issues put on us by society. People often are not educated on mental health and have no idea what it’s like to live with a mental illness, so they are very quick to judge and make jokes about it in a sense to lighten the issues. However by doing so they only make it worse for those living with health challenges themselves on a daily bias.
For some mental challenges might be an isolated moment in their lifetime lasting a short amount of time and for others like myself they might live with it the rest of their lives.
- No matter the type of mental health challenges someone might have, it is important to remember that mental health is a personal life journey, no one person’s mental health journey is going to be the same and that the stigmas around mental health must come to an end.
- We know that stigma around mental health only leads to silence. And silence about a suicide loss does not stop the ripple effect—it only leaves people feeling isolated and as if they are facing this tragedy and loss alone.
When someone dies by suicide, the aftermath opens up an immediate opportunity to talk about suicide as a public health issue that affects all of us. We all have a role to play in prevention and decreasing the stigma of mental health and of suicide.
How do people Respond to Suicide?
1. We mourn the sudden loss of a life
Ex: Car crash
2. We might blame ourselves
a. The if only’s
3. We might become angry
a. How could they do this to me to us:
4. We try to make sense of suicide/ to find the truth of suicide
a. We try to piece together native that coheirs to logic but we can’t not really.
b.We can never know fully someone else’s thought we only know what they tell us.
Suicide in the bible: The Story of Judas
How many of us know that there are Seven stories of Suicide in the Bible and not one of them mention it as a sin but refuse to it with words such as having remorse, a great loss, a time of great saddens, a time of great pain, etc?
One of the more common stories of Suicide in the bible and most interesting and the one I am going to share with you is that of Judas.
1. Mathew 27: 1-10 (Suicide of Judas)
3: When Judas, who had betrayed him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and the elders. 4 “I have sinned,” he said, “for I have betrayed innocent blood.” “What is that to us?” they replied. “That’s your responsibility.” 5 So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.
And in 2. John: 13: 18-30 the text says (Devil entered Judas & put in into his heart to betray Jesus) The Devil lied to Judas saying his death was more important than his life:
I know that the Overdramatize Idea of the Devil: Red tell, horns, and Pitch-fork seems like a spiritual fair tell to man of us, so if you can’t get on board with the devil as an actual being then think of the devil as all of the things that seek to defy God, and to defy Love.
I have had my own devils (Talks about his own thoughts at the time of suicide attempts, the lies that formed and the thoughts of self-harm/ suicide attempts they created.)
What I know is that It takes a community to mend what’s broken and busted up and What we must do now, will not be easy, but it is what is needed. We must renounce all that seeks to defy love, we must remind each other of our worth and of our dignity, and that anything else is a damn lie. We must always love, no matter what, as we work to understand life around us, knowing that we all are worthy of love, that no person outside of this love including ourselves. If you can’t believe this for yourself let me or someone else believe it for you. For you never know who might need you to believe it for them when they can’t. (1592)